It has been too long since I last posted anything in my blog. 
Blame it on my illness.  Even though I have to admit that I have an illness to overcome I am not without faith.  My basic premise on faith concerning sickness and disease it simple. It goes like this:
          1)  Sickness and disease are not from God
           2)  It is not God's will that we be sick
           3)  Sickness and disease exist because of the Fall of Man
           4)  The New Testament claims that Jesus healed ALL  their diseases
            5) The new Testament also claims that the great Heroes of Faith did not always get everything they were promised while living on this earth. Case in point -- Abraham was promised that his "descendants would be as numerous as the stars".  That did not come true until many years after his death.
           6) We have nothing to lose even it all circumstances say we are going to die of illness and disease.
            7) God promised us "four score and 10" if we walked in obedience to the Lord.
            8) Many of the problems we have involving bad health are self induced. 

I just came back from a "bad episode".  I am bipolar or manic/depressive.  Bipolar is the new name.  There are two different categories for bipolar.  Rapid cycling and one that is not rapid cycling.  I have been diagnosed for 13 years with the latter.  

It has always been a real challenge to bounce back from an episode because they last anywhere from 3-6 months long and the after effects even longer, not to mention how devastating an episode can be for my family.  My illness prevents me from being able to make long term plans.  Shortly after an episode I cannot even make short term plans.

The doctors tell me that every episode is a little worse than the episode before it and having experienced first had, I believe it.  I didn't, at first, but now I do.  Most of the time a current episode will be worse that the episode before it but not in every case.

I want my life to reflect the faith I have in the Power of God to heal us.  It is so natural that are bodies, under normal circumstances, heal themselves and we take it for granted.  Our cells rejuvinate continually and we don't even have to think about it and we forget that all healing comes from God.  Even natural healing comes from God.  "Every good and perfect gift comes from God."  I don't want to forget to thank my Lord for helping me through the "thick and the thin" and I have been down this road before so what can I do now but thank my Lord for getting me out of a bad spell.  It takes very long most of the time even though I have experienced instantaneous healing before.  In my case, instantaneous healing has been the exception but not the norm.

I know that many issues between me and my Lord have been settled because I no longer ask why.  That's one of the questions I will ask my Lord when I get to heaven. Why.  I also know that God has been healing me in spite of my last episode because I have my joy back and it comes from deep inside my soul.  Gratefulness comes natural to me as it once used to be.  It is true what the Bible says.  "The joy of the Lord is my strength" and I get to experience that strengthening day by day.  That is not to say that I am patient about it.  I am still human and have my faults but my journaling today is not to point them out to you.  Maybe on another day but not today I will share my weaknesses with you.

The final thing I wanted to say was that I can finally experience the feeling of joy and happiness without feeling guilty.  A small part of me wants to go there but I will not anymore.  Being able to experience peace and joy is very valuable to me.  Today is a happy day for me. Tomorrow may be a different story.  Maybe I will have a bad day tomorrow but I am not expecting to receive bad luck anymore.  And if I do I know that all I have to do is wait a little while and the problem will be resolved.  As I walk in obedience there is a reward -  joy and peace in my life and healing too!